


In. Out.

by Fanfiction4thewin



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Fluff and Angst, No beta we die like fred, Panic Attack, Percy Weasley Needs a Hug, Percy Weasley-centric, i wrote this on mobile so possible spelling error
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 03:00:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29128368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fanfiction4thewin/pseuds/Fanfiction4thewin
Summary: The night before the funeral and Percy is struggling to forget the bad.
Kudos: 40





	In. Out.

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Harry Potter or it’s Characters

In. Out. 

Summary: It was the day of the funeral. Sometimes it’s hard to forget when you have a good memory. Hard to breathe when reality sets in. 

This is Percy Weasley Centric with some George Weasley. Slight Molly and Arthur bashing but nothing bad 

In. Out. In. Out.   
In. Out. In. Out. 

The sound of his breathing was the only thing he heard in his room. That and the creaking of the hold house. His room was almost exactly how he left it when he left. Except the stuff he brought over. It was dark. The only light coming from outside. He was sitting with his back in the corner of the wall and his headboard. 

In. Out. In. Out.   
In. Out. In. Out. 

His Mom begged him to stay. He was terrified of breaking her heart all over again. It hasn’t been easy. Most of his family are awkward around him or not happy with him. He was planning to leave after the funeral tomorrow. He looked to the suit hanging off the chair. Even in the dim light he could see the black colour of it. Fred would have hated the dark colour. He always used to joke he didn’t want anyone wearing black at his funeral. Mom never found it funny. 

In. Out. In. Out.   
In. Out. In. Out 

He didnt want to think about it. About anything. 

To bad that wasn’t a very controllable thing. 

In. Out. In. Out. 

His first memory was of them. It was very rarely just the one of them. But of the two. They were so small sleeping in their crib and the morning sun was shining thru. Her was reaching his small arm thru the hole. His hand in between them, their tiny hands holding onto his pinky and thumb. He remembered standing for hours like that. Watching them sleep till Fred started fussing and his mom came in. 

In. Out. In. Out. 

Bill and Charlie were so much older compared to him for so long they were his companions. He used to tell his mom that they were his babies. Anywhere they were. He had to be. He cried whenever she took them to a check up without him. He read to them and helped them talk. George’s first word was Fred’s name. Second was Percy. Fred’s was George. Second was Percy. His parents were flabbergasted but thought it was sweet. 

In. Out. In. Out. 

Eventually Mom was so busy with two babies that their formative years was spent with him. And his with them. Wherever he went they wanted to bed. He didn’t mind. Without them it was so quiet. 

In. Out. In. Out. 

He can’t remember when that changed. He was so excited to go to hogwarts. He forget he couldn’t bring them with him. They begged him not to go. Fred cried and George started throwing his stuff. He remembered feeling lost. Not knowing what to do to help them not be upset. He remembered how his Mom came in and started scolding George. It got worse when she called him Fred. They cried when he got on the train and begged him to write. He promised to never mix them up. 

In. Out. In. Out. 

As time passed and they joined Hogwarts. The bond they had was not the same. He wanted to make his parents proud. He put studying over everything. He didn’t want to be forgotten. It was fine till he became prefect. They took it out on him. They hated how proud she was. How happy she was with it. How she never struggled to remember him like she does them. 

In. Out. In. Out. 

He remembered how bitter he felt. Every joke. Every taunt. Every time they made him feel less. The bond cracking at the corners. He thinks back and wishes to change out much pain they were in. He realized they did it cause they felt like they were less then, but in the moment it hurt how they all laughed. How he was mocked. How even his own parents laughed under their breath when he was mocked. He tried to pretend not to notice. He tried not to think about how Fred and George got what they wanted. He realized later. When all alone with no one on his side. That it was none of their fault. The three of them were hurt by expectations and the pressure thrown. He wished he knew that then. 

In. Out. 

He got the job she wanted him to. Did exactly what he was told to do. He worked for a man that barely remembered his name and when he got sick and he had to run it by himself. He will never forget the fear and panic that entire year. He was just 18. He felt way over his. Terrified for Harry and Ron’s safety. Worried his boss will never get better. Only for it all to be fake. 

In. Out. 

His boss was dead the entire time. Fudge wanted to blame it all on him. He remembered the fear. He was scared of his future. His dads future. He was so excited to get the job offer. Not cause he believed the ministry over his family but they weren’t getting fired over his mistake. Only for everyone to get mad. That they only wanted to hire him to spy on them. As if he was nothing. As if his hard work was nothing. He didn’t want to believe that You know who was back. Who would. Especially since Scabbers… he didn’t want to even begin to think of how his beloved Scabbers that he gave to his brother was a grown man. Who would want to believe that. He knows deep down he accepted the truth but in that moment he was angry. 

In. Out. 

So angry. After doing everything right. No one believed in him. Obviously they were wrong. He stayed with that job for years. They choose him cause he followed orders and did a good job. His family told him he was wrong. He didn’t believe them. He wishes he believed them. To go back in time. To rewind. To forget forever. But he never forgets. No matter how hard he tries. He can’t. 

In. 

It felt like the world crumbled so fast. It was true he was back from the dead. Scabbers was real. The war was real. And he was too scared to face his family. He stayed at his job. Worked hard. He stopped knowing why he did. To awkward to say a word when they threw peas at him. 

Out. 

Terrified when the war kicked off. Watched his boss killed. Prayed to god he didn’t believe in to keep his family safe. Saw so many horrible and unjust things in the ministries halls. Tried to keep alive. Stayed only cause that is where he will hear news first of his family. Wished he went back. Wished he never did as he was told. If only he was more like them. He didn’t feel like a Weasley. He felt like a failure. If only he knew how worse it would get. 

In 

He went to war. They were all alive. Holding his family close mended something in him he didn’t even realize ripped. Only for it to be torn apart with a joke. He tries to remember. But only remembers his face. Stuck forever in a laugh. A laugh he caused. 

Out 

It felt like the world ended. Instead the war did. They won but did they really. He didn’t even want to go home but Mom wouldn’t let go. No one really spoke to him. Bills said a few words. Charlie a hug. Dads avoiding him and Ron and Ginny glare. They blame him. He heard them. They wished it was him instead. 

In 

He wished that to 

Out 

“He doesn’t feel like he should be here” 

In 

“Or be alive when Fred’s not”

Out

“He knows they all think it”

In 

“He doesn’t blame them” 

Out

“It’s not fair he got to live when Fred didn’t”

In   
Out  
In   
Out

He barely noticed his breathing pick up. How it’s getting harder to breathe 

In  
Out  
In  
Out

“How was he supposed to go on? To live. While his precious brother doesn’t”

In  
Out  
In  
Out

“He doesn’t even feel like he deserves to mourn”

In  
Out  
“He can’t breath”  
In  
Out 

“He wondered if he would die if lack of air”

In  
Out  
In  
Out 

He doesn’t notice when the door opens   
Or when someone sits next to him   
He does notice when someone pulls him against them. Whispering. He couldn’t hear them the blood was rushing past his hears like tidal waves about to drown him 

In   
Out  
In  
Out 

The feel of them holding him helps ground him to his surroundings. He knows what they're saying.   
“In. Out. It’s okay. Breath slowly” 

In. Out. 

He took a deep breath and realized who it was that held him. George. No one has really seen him leave his room and here he was.   
In   
Out   
In   
Out 

“It’s okay. Just breathe. Your okay” George whispered against his shoulder. His voice cracking and body shaking as if he didn’t calm down George would start. 

In. Out. 

He forced himself to calm down. His words stuck in his throat. He held onto George for dear life. 

“ it wasn’t your fault you know. Fred wouldn’t blame you. He would be glad you lived. He forgave you years ago. Even wanted to apologize” 

He pulled back from George as his breath shuddered. He starred with watery eyes at George’s own. He realized he was talking out loud earlier. George must have heard him. 

“I’m so sorry” his voice sounded tiny even to his own ears. 

George’s face crumbled. He pulled Percy back to him “ just don’t leave again” they both knew he wasn’t just apologizing for leaving. Both too exhausted and in pain to go back and forth on whether or not it was Percy's fault. 

In. Out. In. Out.   
In. Out. In. Out. 

By the time they were both breathing normally the sun was higher. They could hear their mother downstairs and their great aunt speaking to her. 

They moved away from each other. That’s when Percy realized George was already dressed. He snorted his hand over the black fabric and frowned. “ he would have hated all the dark colours. “ 

George looked up at him with that look in his eye as if he was planning something. 

An hour later they were both headed downstairs in their suits with bright colours. The colours were mix matched. The pocket on Percys was purple. The shirt orange. The jacket Green. George’s was reversed. 

When they got downstairs and the ones downstairs started. George paid them no mind and went to go sit. Percy felt his anxiety spike and breathing falter. George grabbed his hand and dragged him behind him. Daring anyone to say anything.   
Their mom saw them and her own breath hitched. She rushed forward and hugged them. 

It felt like things would be okay.   
After today. 

In. Out. In. Out.   
In. Out. In. Out.


End file.
